Heart of a Soldier Read online

  Dragging himself out of his thoughts, Dylan nodded, acknowledging her question. “Yeah, it can be dangerous. When horses are out of control, it can be an unstable situation. That’s why training is so important.”

  She leaned forward in her chair. “And you’ve had lots of training, right?” She furrowed her brow, concern etched on her face.

  He smiled, tickled by her earnestness. “Yeah, lots and lots. But I’m also very careful, and I respect the horses.”

  It was funny. She seemed to heave a huge sigh of relief. Cassidy was a sweetheart, that was for sure. Her caring so much about a perfect stranger showed she was a loving and giving woman. Again, he found himself wondering what had happened to devastate this young woman’s life.

  He quickly glanced at his watch. “Well, I should be heading back into town, since it looks like she won’t be here for a while. It was nice meeting you, Cassidy.”

  She mumbled a goodbye. He heard the door close behind him and the turn of the lock as soon as he’d stepped out onto the porch. He stopped in his tracks as a feeling of unease came over him. He didn’t know if he was being paranoid, but her actions had been a little strange. Although she seemed to radiate a good vibe, she’d been jumpy and nervous the entire time, even locking the door upon his departure. As he made his way to his car, he looked across the huge expanse of land that stretched out before him for miles and miles. Horseshoe Bend Ranch. He couldn’t imagine a more tranquil place to live. It didn’t seem the type of place where one had to bolt the door against intruders. What did he know about it anyway? Joy pulsed inside him as the realization hit him full force. He and Holly were now in the same zip code, and it wouldn’t be much longer until they could see each other.

  * * *

  Had she really just done that? Rather than come clean with Dylan, she’d introduced herself to him as Cassidy Blake, the name of her best friend. She watched from behind a living room curtain as Dylan made his way off the front porch. He was handsome. That was for sure. Way more good-looking than his pictures captured. Those green eyes of his sparkled and glittered like a flawless gem. He had a beautiful, pearly-white grin. His dark hair was cut into a short military style, which enhanced his masculine features. And he was tall, six feet she would guess, with brawny arms and shoulders. His physicality was hard to ignore. It jumped out at her, reminding her of everything that set them apart from one another. Several times she’d wanted to reach out and grab his hand or ask him about Leo, his bearded dragon. But that would have been a huge tip-off that she wasn’t who she was claiming to be. She’d sunk so low in hiding her disability from Dylan. Why hadn’t she just told him? Surely it would have been better than these feelings of dread and guilt gnawing at her conscience. Pain sliced through her, causing her to wrap her arms around her middle in an attempt to assuage the hurt she’d inflicted on herself.

  Lord, please make this pain go away. I’ve gotten so used to loss that I never knew it would hurt this much to lose Dylan before I truly had him. I try so hard to walk a righteous path, yet here I am withholding information and pretending to be somebody I’m not.

  Was it really so out of the question to admit the truth to him? She squeezed her eyes shut to block out random images flashing into her mind. Dylan’s shocked face as she introduced herself as the woman he’d been writing to over the past year. Dylan’s disappointed expression. The look of pity that would inevitably pass over his face.

  She covered her face with her hands. No, she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t handle the pain that came with the knowledge that she would never be Dylan’s vision of what a partner should be. She was too flawed, too imperfect. He’d traveled all this way to see in person the woman he’d connected with during some of the darkest hours of his life. Never in a million years would Dylan be expecting a woman in a wheelchair. After all he’d been through in Afghanistan, she couldn’t deliver him yet another blow. She just couldn’t handle it.

  As soon as she saw Dylan’s truck zoom off into the distance, she picked up her cell phone and dialed the number of Cassidy Blake’s art gallery. After a few rings, she heard her best friend’s chirpy voice on the other end.

  “Hi, Holly. What’s up?”

  “Cassidy. I need you to come to the ranch as quick as you can get here.” She felt out of breath after she finished.

  “What is it? Are you okay?” Cassidy asked. Holly could hear the concern in her voice.

  “It’s not an emergency. I just need my best friend,” she explained, trying to convey the urgency without causing Cassidy panic.

  “Let me close up the gallery. I’ll be there in twenty minutes,” Cassidy promised, quickly ending the phone call.

  For the next twenty minutes Holly fretted over her situation, wondering how she was going to tell Cassidy she’d impersonated her when Dylan had arrived at the ranch. Hopefully her best friend would understand the impossible position she was in. As soon as Holly heard the crunch of tires in the driveway, she made her way toward the door, opening it and greeting Cassidy as she quickly walked up the front steps.

  As usual, her best friend radiated an effortless, breezy look. With her strawberry-blond hair, green eyes and wholesome good looks, she’d always been a showstopper. Even in her simple T-shirt and flouncy skirt, she looked amazing.

  Holly couldn’t be happier about Cassidy’s engagement to her older brother, Tate. They’d all been through a lot together, most notably the terrible accident that had left Holly without the use of her legs. For many years Cassidy had stayed away from West Falls, torn apart by guilt and shame since she had been behind the wheel at the time of the accident. Last summer Cassidy had returned home to help her ailing mother, and in the process, she and Tate had fallen in love all over again.

  “You scared me with that phone call. What’s going on?” Cassidy asked as she stepped over the threshold. She held out Dylan’s letter to Holly. “You must have dropped this. I found it next to the mailbox.”

  Holly pushed the door closed and wheeled around so she could face Cassidy. She reached for the letter, stuffing it down into her skirt pocket. She took a deep breath.

  “Do you remember me telling you about Dylan? The soldier I write to?”

  “Of course. He’s stationed in Afghanistan, right?”

  Holly nodded. “Yes, he was. But he’s stateside now. He arrived in West Falls today.”

  “That’s amazing!” Cassidy squealed. “I can’t wait to meet him.”

  Holly stared blankly at her best friend. In her opinion there was absolutely nothing to celebrate, although Cassidy had no way of knowing it.

  Cassidy frowned, her eyes filled with concern. “What’s the matter? You look as if someone died. I thought you’d be celebrating instead of moping around the house.”

  Holly looked down, too overcome with shame to look Cassidy in the eye. “Cass, I messed up. I didn’t tell him about my being a paraplegic.”

  Cassidy’s eyes bulged, and she shook her head in disbelief. After a few seconds she said, “Tell me everything.”

  Holly quickly got Cassidy up to speed on Dylan’s unexpected visit and her pretense about being Cassidy.

  “But how could you pretend to be me? We don’t look anything alike. I thought you two sent pictures back and forth,” Cassidy asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.

  “I kept meaning to send a photo, but I never did. It was difficult to send him a picture without having told him I’m a paraplegic.” Holly let out a bitter laugh. “Of course, when he showed up here he wasn’t expecting to see his pen pal confined to a wheelchair, since I conveniently left that part out.”

  Cassidy looked agitated. She bit her lip and ran her fingers through her long hair. “What are you going to do?”

  Holly was wringing her hands. She looked up at Cassidy, squashing down the spark of jealousy she felt as she gazed at her beautiful and able-bodied friend
. Cassidy’s calves were shapely, while hers lacked any muscle tone whatsoever. What she wouldn’t give to be able to walk into a room under her own steam instead of always making an entrance by way of her wheelchair. She let out a deep sigh. What was the point of comparing herself to her best friend? She chided herself. Feeling envy wasn’t going to change a thing. It wouldn’t make her something she wasn’t or somebody she could never be.

  “I need you to pretend to be me, Cass. Just long enough so you can end things with him and send him on his way. He’ll never know that you’re not me.” The words tumbled out of Holly’s mouth at a rapid speed. Intuition told her that it was only a matter of time before Dylan came back to the ranch. He’d had a look of determination and purpose in his eyes. She needed to fix things quickly. Cassidy frowned. “Holly. You can’t be serious. Why in the world would you want me to pretend to be you?”

  Tears pricked her eyes. “I need you to do this for me, Cass. Seriously. I want Dylan to leave West Falls and go back home to Oklahoma. This is the only way!” She was starting to feel desperate, as if the walls were closing in on her.

  Cassidy frowned. “Tricking him isn’t the answer. Why can’t you just tell him the truth?”

  Heat seared her cheeks. “Because I can’t face him. I never told him I’m in a wheelchair, that I’m paralyzed from the waist down. How do you think he’s going to feel after coming all this way to see me?”

  “You’re the bravest person I know. Find your words and tell him the truth. If he’s as wonderful as you say he is, he’ll understand.”

  “This is different. Dylan is... He’s everything. Smart. Brave. Gorgeous.”

  Cassidy’s brow was furrowed. “And you’re all those things, Holly.”

  Holly shook her head. “No, I’m not, Cass. You don’t understand. He’s a soldier. The world he lives in is a very physical world. He breaks in wild horses, rides mountain bikes, does marathons. He protects America from harm. He’s a hero.”

  “And you’re pretty heroic, too. You’ve lived through a horrific accident that cost you the use of your legs. You’ve devoted your life to getting the message out about irresponsible teen driving. You’re a woman of faith, Holly. All those things make you an amazing woman.”

  Although she loved Cassidy like a sister, she didn’t want to hear any of this at the moment. It didn’t matter how many times people told her she was brave and wonderful. She didn’t feel either of those things. Not at the moment. Not when Dylan was most likely on his way back to the ranch to meet up with her. There was no way she could look him in the eye and admit her lies. She needed to get herself straightened out before he showed up.

  “Please, Cassidy. I need you to be me when Dylan comes back,” she begged in a panicked voice. “You owe me.”

  The ominous words hung in the air between them. Cassidy’s face lost all of its color, and her mouth tightened in a firm line. As soon as the words had tumbled out of her mouth, Holly had deeply regretted them. Cassidy had just come back into her life after an eight-year absence. In the past six months they’d rebuilt a friendship that had been ruined in the aftermath of the accident that had left Holly paralyzed. Cassidy had been at the wheel at the time, and she’d fled West Falls rather than face the town’s censure. It had taken a lot of hard work and prayer to get things back to where they once were with their friendship.

  Now, due to overwhelming fear, Holly found herself in an awkward position. With three thoughtless words she’d dredged up their painful past and made Cassidy feel as if she were still harboring a grudge. In reality she, along with Cassidy’s cousin, Regina Blake, and their childhood friend, Jenna Keegan, all shared in the responsibility. They’d all participated in the reckless-driving game, although Cassidy had taken the fall since she’d been at the wheel when the car had slid off the road. One could make the argument that she, in fact, owed Cassidy everything for having single-handedly shouldered the blame for eight long years.

  Before she could apologize, a knock sounded at the door. Holly jerked her head in the direction of the front door, then looked over at Cassidy. Her friend’s eyes were wide with alarm, and she was shaking her head back and forth.

  “Please, Cassidy. Just pretend to be me. Tell him you started seeing someone, that you’re really sorry but it’s over,” Holly whispered. She felt weak begging Cassidy to do something she knew was wrong, but a part of her didn’t care. Right now all she cared about was making sure Dylan didn’t figure out his pen pal was confined to a wheelchair.

  “Tell the truth, Holly. Before this whole thing spirals out of control,” Cassidy said, her eyes full of disappointment.

  Feeling defiant, Holly wheeled over to the door and yanked it open. All of the air rushed out of her lungs the moment she saw Dylan. He was wearing a black cowboy hat, but he quickly took it off and placed it by his side. She noticed he’d switched up his clothes and taken a shower. His hair was still slightly damp, and he was wearing a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt. His arms were heavily muscled and toned. Once again, she was hit with the full impact of Dylan’s physicality. He looked as if he belonged on the cover of a men’s fitness magazine or on television as the star of a healthy-living commercial. All at once it hit her smack on the head. There was no way she belonged in his world. For the past year she’d been living in a world of denial, clinging to a kernel of hope about a possible future with this impossibly perfect man. In his arms was a bouquet of yellow roses and white stargazer lilies, her favorite flowers. Somehow he’d remembered from her letters. She felt a pang run through her at his thoughtfulness. How she wanted to reach out and accept his offering and press her nose against the fragrant blooms.

  “Is she back yet?” Dylan asked, his expressive eyes radiating enthusiasm.

  With a lump in her throat, all she could do was nod and gesture toward the inside of the house. His handsome face lit up with a wide grin. She smiled at him, feeling light-headed at the sight of his tall, muscular frame. But he wasn’t smiling at her. He was looking past her, straight at Cassidy. And he was beaming so widely it almost overtook his whole face. She felt her chest tighten painfully. Loss—sharp and swift—flooded her. How could it be this painful to lose something she’d never truly had in the first place? Sucking in a ragged breath, she invited him inside, then watched as he walked across the threshold and beat a fast path toward her best friend.

  Chapter Two

  “Holly! Is it you?” Dylan made his way across the foyer in two quick strides. Cassidy nodded her head in acknowledgment. Holly watched as Dylan wrapped his arms around Cassidy in a warm embrace. She felt her insides lurch as she observed Dylan’s intimate gesture. He was so full of life, so enthusiastic and joyful. Watching him was like seeing a force of nature in motion. Her best friend, on the other hand, was acting standoffish. She wasn’t hugging Dylan back, and her body language was as stiff as a board. Her expressive face was giving away too much. Maybe it was simply because she knew her so well that she could tell Cassidy looked conflicted and ill at ease. Her pulse started beating at a rapid pace. If Cassidy couldn’t pull this off, she’d be forced to explain it all to Dylan. The very thought of it made her palms sweat.

  A part of her couldn’t help but feel cheated as she watched Dylan’s interaction with her best friend. This embrace should have been hers. His gorgeous smile, which lit the room up like sunshine, should have been directed at her. And maybe it would have been, she thought. If only she had been honest with him from the beginning. Perhaps things could have been different.

  Cassidy stepped away from the hug, her face paler than usual, her eyes drifting nervously away from Dylan and toward Holly. She seemed as if she was in pain. Guilt speared through her at the agony on her best friend’s face. She looked as if she’d rather go swimming with sharks than follow through with this meeting.

  “This has been a long time coming.” Dylan’s voice was infused with sweetness. To Ho
lly it sounded like the sweet sound of rain after a long drought. For a moment she let it wash over her, rejoicing in the rich timbre of it. He held out the bouquet of flowers, saying, “These are for you,” as he handed them over.

  “Thank you. They’re gorgeous,” Cassidy said stiffly, reaching out and accepting the stunning flowers.

  Dylan grinned, showcasing a pair of dazzling dimples. “I hope you’re not upset with me for showing up here in West Falls. I’m not usually a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants guy, but I couldn’t help myself. The way you described your hometown made me want to see it for myself.”

  “It’s definitely unexpected,” Cassidy answered, shooting Holly a meaningful look.

  Holly tried to nod discreetly in Cassidy’s direction, wanting to encourage her to act normal, but she felt Dylan’s gaze land on her. He seemed to have the instincts of a hawk, paying close attention to everything around him. As a soldier, he’d probably honed those skills as a means of survival.

  Dylan frowned. “Did I interrupt y’all in the middle of something?”

  “No, of course not,” Holly said smoothly, her eyes now focused on Dylan’s face.

  “It’s fine. We were just shooting the breeze,” Cassidy added. “Would you like something to drink? Some sweet tea or lemonade?”

  “I’d love some sweet tea,” he answered, looking grateful for the offer.

  “Sure thing. It’ll give me a chance to put these flowers in a vase.” Cassidy scurried off toward the kitchen, as if she couldn’t wait to escape, leaving the two of them all by themselves.

  “Why don’t you make yourself comfortable in the living room.” Holly gestured toward the doorway leading to the foyer. Following behind him, she quickly maneuvered her wheelchair into the room. As Dylan folded his tall, rugged body into a leather armchair, her gaze was drawn to the dog tags hanging around his neck.