Through The Fire (Guardians, Inc. Book 2) Read online

  For years he’d dreamed of getting revenge on the entire Jackson family and of seeing the wounded look on Sierra’s face when she realized that he was the instrument of her familys’ pain. Now, when his dream was finally within reach he wasn’t about to let it slip through his fingers. Then, and only then, he would be able to put all the pain and loss behind him; He’d be able to move on with his life and chase away the demons that had relentlessly plagued him over the years.

  Finally, he’d be free.

  ***

  “It was a mistake, Caleb. You and I.... it was all a mistake. It should never have happened.” The words ate at him all through the night, gnawing a hole right through the place where his heart had been. Just when he thought Sierra couldn’t hurt him any more she’d kicked him right in the teeth, leaving him feeling like a grizzly bear with a thorn in its paw.

  By morning he’d reprimanded himself a thousand times for almost falling back into Sierra’s trap. Last night after they’d kissed, he’d been tempted to hold her in his arms and whisper words of love to her - words that had lingered in his heart for eight long years. Thankfully he hadn’t uttered those words of love to Sierra. It would’ve been the final humiliation in a long list of embarrassments.

  He was through with this love thing, once and for all. He'd had enough of it to last a lifetime. Love was a fool’s game.

  ***

  It was seven o’clock in the morning when Sierra woke up, stirred by the rich smell of coffee that drifted under her nose, tantalizing her with its delectable scent. She let out a loud yawn and stretched her body while mentally noting how wonderful she felt. She’d slept like a dream in Jock’s bed, although she had a feeling it was Caleb’s presence by her side rather than the bed itself that worked the magic. As she’d drifted off to sleep last night she had opened her eyes one last time and caught sight of Caleb’s powerful arms wrapped around her body. She’d drifted off to sleep filled with hope as she lay sheltered by Caleb’s embrace.

  Caleb. Last night they’d kissed and shared a tender moment as they had discovered proof of the connection between Jock and Lilliana Rose. It had reminded her so much of the past and the bond they’d once shared.

  The smell of coffee continued to tempt her senses and she decided to put an end to her daydreams and join the world of the living. She couldn’t ignore the excitement building within her at the thought of seeing Caleb this morning. She imagined he was just as sinfully handsome at the crack of dawn as he was at any other time of day. With a large intake of breath, she pushed open the bedroom door and entered the main area of the cabin.

  “Good morning, Caleb.” Sierra stretched her limbs again and let out another lazy yawn, raising her hand to cover her mouth, feeling a little embarrassed that she was still sleepy. “Why didn’t you wake me? I’m not used to sleeping in like a lady of leisure.”

  He barely spared her a glance, his jaw tightly clenched, his stance rigid and defensive. His eyes were hot with anger and a tiny vein bulged in his forehead. “Get your clothes on and let’s get a move on. I don’t want to sit around this cabin all morning.” His curt, gruff tone left no doubt as to his mood. Surly. Annoyed. Dismissive.

  “What’s wrong?” Sierra reached out and touched Caleb on the arm, bewildered by the way he roughly jerked his arm away and turned his back on her. Clearly he was upset about something, but she had no idea what was bothering him. And judging by his mood he wasn’t in any mood to tell her.

  Caleb clenched his teeth and snarled, “Nothing, other than the fact that I’ve wasted my valuable time on this wild goose chase.”

  Sierra felt a huge lump in her throat at his cutting words. Words that she couldn’t comprehend after last night when they have been so cohesive. “You didn’t seem to think you were wasting your time last night. Are you angry because I kissed you?” she asked boldly.

  “What do I look like? A twelve-year old? That kiss didn’t mean a thing to me, Sierra,” he said in a scoffing tone.

  Sierra sucked in her breath, taken aback by Caleb’s arrogance and hostility. What was wrong with him this morning? Last night he’d been tender and loving, and this morning he was acting like a complete and utter jerk!

  He’d been fine before and after their kiss, so she had to assume his foul mood was a result of regret for even venturing up to Jock’s cabin with her. He was feeling as if she’d wasted his precious time.

  She felt her nostrils flaring with anger. “You won’t have to worry about me ever kissing you again, Caleb.”

  Angrily, she stormed off into the bedroom. Once inside the room, Sierra wiped away the hot tears that streaked down her face as she berated herself for feeling wounded by Caleb’s rejection. What had she been thinking anyway? Just because they’d spent the night under the same roof it didn’t mean that they had bonded. This morning he’d let her know that she meant nothing at all to him. And judging by the way he’d looked at her - a look that made her feel lower than an ant’s belly - he wasn’t feeling warm and fuzzy towards her. It had all been in her mind.

  She’d never had protection against him or against the crazy way he made her feel inside. He left her feeling defenseless and totally vulnerable to his masculine charms. And his chaotic moods.

  Two minutes later Sierra marched out of the bedroom, fully clothed with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. “Let’s get out of here, Caleb! I wouldn’t want you to sacrifice any more of your precious time on this wild goose chase.”

  With a grim set to his features, Caleb wrenched open the cabin door and walked outside, not even bothering to see if she was following on his heels. With a sigh of frustration and suppressed anger, Sierra marched out the door and followed mutely, her spirits sagging with every step she took.

  As Sierra laid her head down on her pillow last night she’d nurtured a small grain of hope that once Caleb knew the truth about the past he’d be able to grant her forgiveness. Despite his harsh attitude toward her since she’d returned to Briarwood, she’d hoped that gradually his feelings towards her would soften. And with that softening she had dreamed that he would fall in love with her again.

  But in the harsh light of morning, the truth couldn’t be ignored. Caleb wasn’t interested in her. That ship had sailed eight years ago and she needed to accept it before she made an even bigger fool of herself.

  Chapter Seven

  One week had gone by since the morning Sierra had left Jock’s cabin with Caleb without a civil word being exchanged between them. The tension between them had been so thick one could have cut it with a knife. Instead of focusing on the Diamond Lil as she should, her thoughts were still fixated on Caleb.

  His absence was killing her, pure and simple. The sight of him was like fuel for her, keeping her strong, keeping her motivated - he was a reminder of all her hopes and dreams, past and future. But she had to accept that Caleb’s feelings for her were firmly rooted in the past. She needed to move on and learn to live with her regrets.

  Lord, please help me accept that I can’t change the past. I’ve got to accept the choices I made and the fact that Caleb has moved on with his life. Please give me grace. I’ve got a job to do at the Diamond Lil and I need to keep my eyes focused on fixing things at the ranch.

  As tired out as her body felt from the physical rigors of working the ranch, she was truly enjoying every single moment of the experience. No matter how big or small the task, she felt herself rising to the occasion to complete it. Although she hadn’t often allowed herself the luxury of being homesick while living in New York City, she’d never been able to deny the empty hole inside of her that was crying out to be filled. Being back in Briarwood felt so right. It felt like home after being gone for an eternity, and suddenly the loneliness wasn’t so bad anymore.

  Exhausted from working out in the pasture, Sierra entered the kitchen through the back door of the house. As always, Minnie was there, infusing the space with her warmth and down home cooking.

  “Come and sit down, chile. You look as if you
could use a glass of lemonade and some of my rhubarb pie.” Minnie didn’t stare at Sierra, which she knew must be a mighty hard task since she was covered from head to toe with sweat and grime. Her hair was caked with mud and she was walking awkwardly as if she’d trekked all the way from New York to Texas. Minnie ushered Sierra toward one of the kitchen chairs and placed a tall glass of lemonade in front of her on the table. Sierra gratefully reached for the lemonade and drank the refreshing liquid in huge gulps.

  Minnie ripped off her apron and then plopped down in the chair next to her, heaving a huge sigh as she sat down. Sierra felt Minnie’s intense scrutiny, and as she turned towards her she caught Minnie looking at her with a knowing eye.

  “So, chile, she finally up and told you the truth, huh?” Minnie asked in a spirited voice.

  “Huh? What are you talking about?” Sierra asked, trying to sound innocent.

  “Hmmph! Who do you think you’re fooling, girl?” Minnie rolled her warm brown eyes at Sierra and gave her a look that warned her not to even try to pull the wool over her eyes. “Ever since you’ve been back you’ve been moping around the house like a lost soul. I know you’re grieving and all, but you still don’t look right. Seems to me it’s the same look you had on your face when you broke up with the Matthews boy all them years ago. The way I figure it, Lilliana up and told you what she’d done to you.”

  Sierra’s mouth hung open in absolute shock. She couldn’t believe that Minnie had kept secrets from her all these years, secrets that had forever changed her life. “Minnie...no, oh please don’t tell me that you knew the truth all this time,” she said, her voice cracking with emotion.

  “No, baby, I haven’t known the whole time. Keeping secrets ain’t my style.” Minnie reached out and patted Sierra’s hand in a comforting gesture. “Years after the fact Lilliana had an attack of the guilts and confessed everything to me one hot summer night when we dipped into the wine. She was quite sorry and sad about the whole sordid mess. She knew she’d done wrong, I reckon.”

  Sierra cast a skeptical look in Minnie’s direction and said, “Hmmph! She had eight years to tell me the truth and she waited until she was on her deathbead to come clean! So much for remorse. She couldn’t even face me with the truth, Minnie, even though she knew I deserved at least that.”

  “Hush, child. It ain’t right to talk stink about your granny, may she rest in peace. She did what she did, and Lord knows it ain’t right, but she thought she was saving you from heartache! In a crazy kind of way it makes sense, I suppose.”

  Sierra’s chin quivered with emotion as she said, “She had no right! Just because Jock Matthews broke her heart, she had no right to break mine! But I guess my hopes and dreams were expendable in Lilliana’s eyes.” She couldn’t contain her bitterness, and it rang out in every word.

  Minnie made a tutting sound. “Chile, if you’re planning to move on with your life you need to find forgiveness in that heart of yours. You sound like a bitter old prune when I know you’re the very opposite. I remember when you were growing up all the ranch hands used to call you a slice of sunshine because wherever you went you brought happiness. Don’t you see, Sierra? That’s your salvation.”

  “Having a wide open heart has always been my downfall, Minnie, never my salvation. It’s never given me anything but heartache and disappointment.”

  Minnie shook her head mournfully and said, “If you believe that nonsense then you really have lost your way. And that’s why I’m here, I reckon. To show you the way back.”

  “How do you plan on doing that Minnie? As far as I can tell I’m pretty far off course.”

  Minnie clapped her walnut-colored hands together and cackled with glee. “I’m going to take you back to the beginning. I’m going to tell you a story, chile, about two people who loved fiercer and deeper than any two people I’ve ever seen in my life. So settle down in that chair of yours and fill up your glass with some more lemonade, because the telling might take awhile.”

  Sierra pushed her chair back and began to stand up. “Minnie, I really should go back to the corral. Bryce is out there trying to break in a couple of broncs and he’s not real experienced.”

  “Sit down, girl, and listen to what I have to say,” Minnie said in an annoyed tone. “If Bryce Jarvis is fool enough to think he can break in a wild mustang, than I ain’t gonna cry no tears for him when he’s the one who’s broken. Sit down and listen! You may learn something.”

  Without a word of protest Sierra sat back down in her chair, humbled for a moment by Minnie’s direct manner and her startling resemblance to Lilliana Rose. Sierra had forgotten how similar the two women were in temperament and mannerisms, a natural result of their sixty five years of friendship.

  “Lilliana Rose and Jock met at a rodeo festival in San Antonio. Your grandmother and I went to San Antonio to attend the festival with your great-grandaddy, who if’n I reckon correctly was looking to buy some horses. Jock was a bronc rider on the circuit and he had come to San Antonio to enter one of them bronc riding contests.” Minnie’s eyes were dreamy as she recounted the events of sixty years ago, her face lighting up with a poignant smile as she spoke, the brown skin crinkling around her twinkling eyes.

  “Jock looked out into the audience and clapped eyes onto your grandmama. It was love at first sight. Lilliana Rose preened like a peacock when she caught sight of Jock staring at her. Lord above! She was smiling and batting her eyes something fierce.” Minnie let out a huge belly-laugh and continued. “Jock was so distracted he went flying off the bronc and ended up in a pile of dung. As the crowd roared with laughter Lilliana Rose slipped away from the stands and went looking for Jock.”

  “Did she find him?” Sierra asked as she leaned forward in her chair with both elbows propped on the table, entranced by Minnie’s storytelling and the love story that was unfolding.

  Minnie nodded and smiled knowingly. “She sure did. Even though he smelled like day- old dung, your grandmother was smitten. From that moment forward those two were inseparable. Turns out Jock originally hailed from Briarwood, so he up and moved back to be near Lilliana Rose and court her.”

  “And did he? Court her, I mean?” Sierra couldn’t contain her curiosity, for it seemed to have a life of its own. She had wanted to uncover information about Jock and her grandmother’s relationship, and since Jock couldn’t or wouldn’t talk to her at the moment, Minnie was her best source of information. If she listened to Minnie carefully, she might be able to unravel some clues about Jock’s desertion.

  “He courted her like a fairy tale princess, Sierra. He took her to barbecues and hoe-downs, ice cream socials and church outings. He brought her roses at night and sugar cookies in the morning. But most of all he courted her with his mind and with words. He shared her dreams for building up the Diamond Lil. Jessup, your great-grandaddy, he never cared for Jock. He tried his hardest to turn Lilliana Rose against Jock, but it never worked. She loved that man. And he earned her devotion, let me tell you. He worked like a dog helping her with it after her daddy got killed, bless his soul. I’ve never seen a man work himself harder than Jock did. He was so devoted to Lilliana Rose, and because of that devotion he made the Diamond Lil his life’s mission. He single-handedly put up both the barn and the corral.”

  “Jock helped build up the Diamond Lil?” Sierra asked, her voice sounding incredulous at the very idea of Caleb’s grandfather contributing so much to her family's legacy. It was a mind- boggling concept, one that she stored in her mind for another time and place. Perhaps Caleb would be interested in knowing of his grandfather’s contribution to the Diamond Lil.

  Minnie nodded and said, “Sure enough, chile. He was a large part of its success, despite what some might say. I was there and I seen it all. And he did it all because he was crazy in love with Lilliana Rose.”

  Sierra let out a frustrated sigh, not understanding the implications of what she was hearing. None of it made a lick of sense. “If he loved her so much, then why did he throw her ov
er for another woman?”

  Minnie shook her head from side to side, her face reflecting her own confusion on the issue. “Chile, that is a question I will take to my grave. I never understood what possessed the man. I remember the day it happened like it was yesterday.” Minnie grimaced at the memory, her walnut-colored skin crinkling with distaste. “It was supposed to be the happiest of days, yet it ended with such sadness, such heartache.”

  As they sat at the table drinking their cold lemonade and crunching on sugar cookies, the memories of another warm spring day came flooding back with vivid intensity. And with Minnie guiding the way, Sierra was able to see the past through her eyes.

  ***

  It was a warm spring morning in Briarwood, Texas, and folks were buzzing around the Homestead, eagerly anticipating the wedding that was taking place later that afternoon. All week preparations had been made for the wedding of the year, the much heralded nuptials of Lilliana Rose Craddock and Jock Matthews.

  After a one-year courtship, Lilliana Rose and Jock were being married in the presence of friends and relatives who had gathered from all around the country to attend the ceremony. Everyone who knew the happy couple had great expectations for their future: endless happiness, a house full of little ones and the biggest cattle ranch in all of Texas. Joy hung in the air.

  As a special wedding day surprise for Lilliana Rose, Jock had built a gazebo adjacent to the Homestead, one that he had adorned with lace, pink and white roses and ivy. In Jock’s mind it was the perfect site for them to exchange their wedding vows, a virtual garden of Eden right here in Briarwood. All the ranch hands chipped in with the decorations, casting off their reticence to do womens’ work in order to make sure that Lilliana Rose and Jock’s wedding was the most memorable day of their young lives. And by the day of the wedding they had transformed the Homestead into a romantic paradise, filled with flowers, ribbons and baskets overflowing with party favors.